Life

“Ghosting” The meaning and the why.

What is Ghosting? It is the act of ending a relationship after a few dates or weeks or months of  seeing each other, cutting off all contact with the person and ignoring and/or avoiding any attempt by that person to contact you, as if it had never existed in your life. 

Rude right? VERY. Now a days there’s this “If I don’t punch in the face, I’m not doing anything wrong” attitude. Where has being cordial, respectful and being cognizant of other people’s feelings gone?

Ghosting has always been present, but today it is becoming more common. Traditionally it is called “avoidance”.  This type of “avoidance” has changed quite a lot, before the avoidance manifested itself by ending relationships by message, mail, call and even leaving or sending letters. The difference is that, at least at the end, there were some words or a kind of closure.   Another difference lies in the evolution of technology that offers the possibility of meeting new people around the corner with applications such as Tinder or Match and in some way makes those who practice ghosting feel that they will not be left alone for too long.

Why does Ghosting  happen?

For many this may seem like the easiest way out, but it turns out that this is not so simple.  People have a great need to be loved, but there’s a greater fear to find themselves in a relationship, because of a whole load of shit reasons.  When you start noticing this new “relationship” is not what you thought it would be (at the beginning everything is so exciting, butterflies in the stomach, etc. [pendejos]), you start backing up a little, re-analyzing the situation and suddenly  you discover that you are afraid of not giving the width, of being hurt or of being abandoned (first), so you decide to leave the relationship.  You can not tell your partner because they would ask you for explanations (which you do not really have) and you think they would judge you as bad for wanting to break up.  Since you don’t want to come off as the villain, because of course you have that need to be loved (and no one loves the villain) you rather just disappear.  

Absence of interest.

Another reason is that the person who ceases contact has simply lost interest, or that there was never the “high” with the other person and does not really value contact with them.   This may also mean there was another person who prioritized, or even not want to make clear the end of the relationship just in case at some point the opportunity would reappear. This usually happens when the contact with the other person is recent and there is no real link between them, as it happens in the dating apps.

Another thing might be the person simply took too long to answer a text or a call and now just doesn’t know how or when to.

What ever the reason may be, I think it’s an act of cowardice.  Puts some girl/boy pants on and end it with a least a text!

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