Approaching 40.. Am I having emotional and physical changes because of it?
I cried a lot last night. Not all night, but right before I went to sleep I did a great deal of sobbing. You want to know why? Yes? Well, you’re not gonna because I DON’T EVEN KNOW. I spent the whole day singing Ozuna’s songs while organizing my apartment, preparing for a trip to Ohio the next day, and spending some MUCH needed time alone, which I love, by the way, to come to lay down in bed at around 9 pm and start crying my eyes out.
While I’m trying to figure out what’s going on, I’m looking back at what transpired during the day that would trigger the waterworks. Nothing. Did I feel lonely? No. Did someone say something that hurt my feelings? No. Am I unhappy in some areas of my life? Nothing that I would cry over. Am I sick? Nope. So what the hell is going on?!
Why was I so emotional?
When I laid down to get ready to sleep I did grab my phone and started looking at pictures. I played videos of V (my daughter), looked at screenshots of quotes, outfits, cute animals, and (ahem)… old conversations. Still, I’ve done that before and I haven’t felt the need to shed a tear.
This morning I was trying to puzzle it together, and while getting ready to head to the airport I checked my period app to see if I need to pack any tampons (to the men reading this, sorry for the visuals), and there it was, I am four days away from my period! I AM PMSING.
Ok ok ok… wait. I’ve never been one to have all these PMSing symptoms, especially the “feeling down” one. Throughout my teen years, the 20s and most of my 30s I had ZERO pre-menstrual symptoms (God you know I’m grateful for that). Earlier this year I did experience some cramps, something very new to me. I attribute the no PMSing and no cramps to always being active, either in sports in my teens or workouts my adult life. I still work out, so what’s the difference now?! Oh, I know: AGE.
Menstrual hormones change in your 40s or when approaching 40.
So I searched, and searched, and searched the web and this is some of the stuff I found:
And while you are at it read my On the road to 40 article.
Thank God I’ve learned not to resist things, so when the tears starting falling I just let it be. I cried, and when I say I cried I mean snot dripping, pillow hugging cry. At that moment I let the energy built just flow out without resistance or questioning. Now that I know I might have been PMSing, if this happens again I will be conscious and embrace it even more.
I might be wrong. There’s a lot changing as I approach this age millstone, but it makes me feel a little comfortable about what I experienced last night if I blame it on something LBNOL (laughing but not out loud).
If you are approaching 40 and are experiencing something similar stay put. Embrace it, let the energy flow and know that this will pass. You’re probably PMSing.
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